SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS

When I was younger I didn't like science experiments.  I used to pull the ol' watch a volcano erupt using vinegar and baking soda experiment every year.  I dreaded meeting the annual challenge of having to come up with something other than the anti-climactic food-colored fizz dripping down a brown paper mache volcano.  Plus, it became really soggy and ineffective after the first eruption.  The whole set-up was more and more awful every time it was executed, but those were the limits to my scientific creativity in the early years.

Fast forward to Spring Break 2010 where, as a member of the American Chemical Society, I have decided to perform science demonstrations with a group of other Chem/Pharmaceutical Science majors at a local middle school to get the kids interested in the sciences.  There were four of us that each had a different experiment or topic that correlated with the science course curriculum.  I did an experiment called Elephant Toothpaste that you can pull off with household chemicals.  The chemical reaction that takes place is the decomposition of Hydrogen Peroxide.  You know what Hydrogen Peroxide does when you pour it on a cut?  It's kinda like that, only bigger.  It fizzes, or rather, it's supposed to fizz.  The final product should look like a bigger version of toothpaste (stripes and all).  However, due to some oversight on my part I ended up with a slow drizzle of bubbles that gave me flashbacks of the dreaded volcano from the early years.

I'm sure you know this already, but 20+ thirteen year olds are really not the best audience to disappoint, but the mess I made seemed entertainment enough and I left the front of the classroom before they could throw tomatoes.  Little did they know the real mess came with the last experiment.  We were supposed to make ice cream.  FYI if you put ice and salt in a big ziploc bag then place a smaller ziploc bag in it that contains some milk, vanilla, sugar and cream, after 15-20 minutes of shaking you'll have homemade ice cream.  Lots of chemistry to discuss here, mainly freezing points and how to change them.  Sounds simple, right?  

What happened next was a clear-cut case of Murphy's Law.  First, we ran out of salt.  Second, some kids didn't get sugar.  Third, 13 year olds tend to shake a ziploc bag a little too vigorously (i.e. salt and ice everywhere).  And lastly, when I looked up from my task of dispensing what was supposed to be equal amounts of vanilla with a shaking hand, my colleague leading this experiment was nowhere to be found.  He was probably crying silently to himself in a closet somewhere, which is what I would have done.  In his absence there were teenagers everywhere grasping for ingredients, there was a wet floor worthy of a lawsuit but that was still not as wet as our armpits, and a teacher using what I'm guessing is not an inside voice trying to regain control his classroom.  We could have given Ringling Bros a run for their money.  Yeah, not the success we wanted it to be.

We had an agreement to do this two days in a row and the teacher miraculously allowed us to come back the second day after suggesting a little more structure.  You'll be happy to know I got a higher concentration of Hydrogen Peroxide to give a little more "oomph" to elephant toothpaste.  In addition, ice-cream boy pre-filled the ziploc bags for his experiment, so day 2 went much better than day 1.  To the teacher's credit, he was fully prepared to do battle on day 2.  I noticed an extra garbage, rolls of paper towels, and his own much more frequent intervention.  Make no mistake about it, science experiments are traumatizing at any age.

Tales of a Cougar

So, as a 33 year-old attending a higher education institution I am frequently surrounded by those who are much younger than me.  This makes the social scene a virtual land mine.  I'm okay with this because I'm here to get really good grades in really hard classes and get my butt into medical school or graduate school if I get rejected again.  I'm not necessarily here to find Mr. Right or Mr. Right-Now for that matter, but as a 33 year-old single person I feel I have a certain obligation to always be on the lookout.

Well, I was on the lookout one Saturday morning when I had to attend some leadership training for a campus organization I'm involved in.  Afterwards, I agreed to help a guy friend involved with the same organization write a grant for an upcoming project.  While at the library lending a helping hand, I slowly became aware of how easy it was to be with him.  I actually liked being around him and he made me feel comfortable.  I mean he's smart, driven, handsome and not stupid in the way that guys generally are.  I asked him a personal question, and I was again surprised by his openness.  I then ask him how old he is.  He said 18.  18!!!  I couldn't believe my ears!  Right then and there I told him that I was 33 and I could be his mother to which he replied, "There is no possible way you can be 33."  To which I replied, "I so AM 33!"  After doing the math on paper (and counting fingers) I reported to him that he could be my son if I had him when I was 15.  Hey, teenage pregnancy happens all the time folks. 

Needless to say, I was mortified!  I thought the police were going to drag me away until I remembered I was in the South (I think people can marry their cousins at age 10 around here).  Seriously, watch for me on the next episode of To Catch a Predator.  I think flirting with him is against the law in, like, 17 states.  How could this have happened?!  And to me, of all people who has a record of dating men at least a decade older!  Just call me Mrs. Robinson.

So, I was bemoaning my fate when two other members of our organization joined us.  We started throwing around ideas about how to best execute the project and "the graduate" came up with an awesome idea I was sure would work.  I mumbled to him so I wouldn't be overheard, "That's brilliant!  It's really too bad you could be my son."  He replied with "That's the thing, it wasn't just you,"  meaning he kinda had the hots for me while I was kind of having the hots for him!  Dare this young buck say such things to a soon-to-be senior citizen like myself?  The audacity of today's youth!  At least it was a little validating.  It made me seriously consider moving to Cougartown USA, people.

The worst part about it is that I still have to see him all the time AND I think he's more and more attractive the more time I spend with him.  Also being 33, I'm kind of a rage of hormones right now.  I'm thinking that's a very bad combination with teenage male.  Hold on, I'm not really talking about this right now.  Forget I just said that.  What I meant to say is whenever I see "the graduate" I will run in the opposite direction.  He really is cute, though.  In commemoration of my weekend activities I wore animal print on Monday, reason being if I'm going to act like a cougar, might as well look like one, too.

Ben Carson

So, ages and ages ago before dinosaurs roamed the earth my mother gave me a book called Gifted Hands.  It was about this inner city Black kid with no daddy but who had a really determined mom who knew the value of education.  Long story short, the kid becomes a world-renown surgeon who is the first to separate conjoined twins (who are joined in the back of their head).  He's a big-wig these days.  It's a wonderfully inspiring story that's easy to read and I highly recommend it.  Anywho, to celebrate Black History Month at the school I attend, they brought in none other than THE Dr. Ben Carson as a keynote speaker.  Even though it overlapped into my calculus class and I had to trek through the freezing rain, I attended the event and had him sign my brand new copy of his latest book, Thinking Big.

Going to his speech was the best thing for my winter blues because I seem to keep forgetting that human beings are literally capable of anything.  One of my favorite things he said was to learn from dismal failure, which is hard for me because I tend to just get depressed that I've failed.  But if there's one thing I have had the opportunity of learning, it's that just because you have failed does not make you a failure.  History is filled with people who have flipped the failure coin on its back and have found success. 

The second favorite thing he said that I loved was to develop the talents God has given you so that you can use them to elevate others.  For some reason, I've never really thought about it like that.  I've heard of developing your talents and I've heard of serving others but rarely have I heard of the two coming together.  It was a beautiful thought coming from a person who has lived it.  His speech was uplifting and I am so glad I went.  I just thought I would share.

No Thinking Zone

I took my last final today, so bring on the trashy romance novels and B movies!  There's nothing like going from physics to The Real Housewives of Orange County.  I'm going to plant myself on the sofa and not move until the new year.  I'm going to order people not to ask me anything that might provoke thought.  Don't even ask me the time (even though my watch is digital)!  My sole purpose is to make the new neurons in my brain atrophy beyong all repair.  When I return to school, they will have to put me on the short bus.

Now that I think about it, I mean I wasn't really thinking I was just, you know . . .  Anywho, I might get off the couch for Christmas.  Then again, I might not.  I'll just sit there until the drool starts.  As a Christmas present to those in my household I should probably shower.  The smell will be pretty pungent by then. 

No seriously, I am plum-tuckered out!  Stick a fork in me--I'm done!  I can make no contributions to society at this point.  Just let me waste away in peace.  Do not resuscitate.  Good-bye world, it was really great getting to know you and all the laws of gravitation that make planetary motion possible, but I have to go now.  It's time to share myself with others, namely Redbox and Ti-Vo.

Pee and Planes

There are not many activities during which I can say, "I'd rather be studying for a physics mid-term right now," but during the pre-Thanksgiving house clean-up that thought actually popped into my mind.  Somehow I ended up with two bathrooms and given the choice between any sort of contact with urine and studying for physics, I gotta tell you physics will win every single time.  I guess I shouldn't complain since someone had to pull fistfulls of my hair out of the shower drain.  Karma's a "B" depending on how you dress her.

Needless to say, the time consuming clean-up was worth it to have so much family here.  Unfortunately, some siblings were sorely missed this year due to work obligations.  While I have never been a proponent of arson, I was getting really creative with ways to get them here in time for Thanksgiving.  I had a hard time assembling Team Let's-Torch-That-Joint so I gave up on sticking it to The Man that was keeping two of my siblings from me.  The good times weren't as good without them.  To add to the drama, another one of my siblings almost didn't make it here due to mechanical problems with his plane.  I'm convinced Delta stands for Disasterous Experience Likely To occur at Anytime.  It's enough to drive someone to drink!  Pass the scotch.

Besides pee and planes, Turkey Day was a success.  Since some were absent, I took it upon myself to eat for them by proxy and am now contemplating a gastric bypass. Lipo at least.  I love spending time with my family and it's comforting to have them around, even if for a few days.  My mom was the first to arrive and she brought with her two old school kung fu movies she found at a kung fu kiosk in DC (don't ask).  As we watched Shaolin Avengers we reminisced about old times.  Both of my parents were involved in the martial arts so we reminded mom of the bedtime stories she told us which were sometimes storylines from kung fu movies and sometimes kung fu stories she made up herself.  Either way, our bedtime stories were action packed.  They included sound effects, hand gestures and eventually the detailed, violent demise of the antagonist.  I'm a sucka for kung fu movies to date.  In fact, I think I feel a Thanksgiving tradition coming on.  Instead of going around the table and saying what we are grateful for, we can each take turns saying which kung fu move we'd use to pluck someone's eyeball out.  Good times.

For some reason, my mother insists on going shopping on Black Friday.  We tried to tell her some poor pregnant woman got trampled last year at a Wal-Mart which prompted the most quotable quote of this Thanksgiving vacation.  It was the comment made by my brother in response to this story, "Funny, I thought Wal-Mart customers were a little more classy than that."  Nevertheless, we ended up at the mall.  To my great surprise we weren't subjected to any cannibalistic attacks from rabid shoppers and we all survived unscathed.  All in all, a wonderful holiday spent with wonderful people.

No News is Good News

I was really excited to find out that I'm not the only person that cries at NPR.  Crying while watching Oprah I can understand.  I'll even cough up a few tears for the occasional chick flick, but being moved to tears by news radio is not normal.  In defense of NPR, half the time I'm crying at WUNC which is really North Carolina Public Radio.  They have this daily program called the story that is so tender that I can't help tearing up every time I listen.  It's like a Hallmark commercial on crack.

NPR and I have finally reconciled after a brief cold war.  I had to stop listening around the time the Iranian elections were going on because I became terribly upset that the people there were not able to get an honest and fair election even with civil protest.  It was the suppression of these protests and the subsequent censorship of the people who wanted the rest of the world to realize what was actually going on in the country that left me in emotional turmoil.  It was just too much for a morning commute.  I can't walk into my first class of the day, which happens to be chemistry, weeping.  There's no crying in chemistry. 

One morning last week the voices on the radio were discussing women and their new roles as the primary wage earners in the family.  Unfortunately, females are still not making as much money as their male counterparts which makes it harder for mothers and wives to keep thier families afloat. They also mentioned that single mothers are the hardest hit by the economy.  Having been raised by a single mother, you can imagine how passionately I feel about the issues surrounding this topic.  Given, I am an emotional person, but I would feel selfish if I ignored the plight and issues that others face. However, I feel like I need some sort of news buffer to maintain my emotional stability.  Don't even get me started on broadcast journalism. I will be traumatized for a full day for each minute I catch of the evening news on TV. Stories about kidnapped children, police officer shootings and unemployment rates make me want to plunge myself off the nearest building while shouting "The end is near!"  I may have to ensconce myself in a virtual cacoon that includes only my concerns and the concerns of those closest to me because believe me that's enough drama for a Spanish novela.

Yet during my vacation from the news I did feel self-centered.  I remained focused on my personal concerns and needs, effectively shutting out that which I could do nothing about.  It's terribly easy to do.  Let's be honest, my tears aren't going to end corruption in Iran.  My grief isn't going to bring kidnapped 5-year old Shaniya back to life.  Does knowing about the depravities of human nature lessen its horrors?  I don't think so, but for some reason I also feel it's unethical to live life as if only I existed.  Maybe it's the Letter from Birmingham Jail echoing in my mind "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere," that encourages my outrage.  Yet there is so much outside of my sphere of influence that I wonder if it's worth wondering what one person like me can do.  This leaves me at an impasse.  The problem is that while I look to NPR for valuable information about what is going on in the world, I also find that information evocative on a visceral level.

So, is no news good news?

"The Brain-is wider than the sky-"

The Brain-is wider than the Sky-
For-put them side by side-
The one the other will contain
With ease-and You-beside

The Brain is deeper than the sea-
For-hold them-Blue to Blue-
The one the other will absorb-
As Sponges-Buckets-do

The Brain is just the weight of God-
For-Heft them-Pound for Pound-
And they will differ-if they do-
As Syllable from Sound-

Emily Dickinson