Vanity

My hair is falling out.  Who do I call to raise the national alarm to orange or something because this is serious.  I am a Leo for heaven's sake, I am supposed to have a mane!  I am almost ready join the women's hair club or do an infomercial for Rogaine.  What are my options here? Implants?  I was planning on eventually getting some further south but this situation dictates immediate action.  I even thought about five finger discounting my sister's pre-natal pills since my nails could use a touch up, too.  Don't worry, the baby has arrived.  I  would never think of heisting the pills if she were still preggers (for very long anyway).  

I know you don't believe me but I am way too young for this to be happening to me.  Every time I shower and wash my hair I lose a yeti down the drain.  Maybe I should pre-empt the hair loss by shaving my head.  It's just that after my time in Hawaii seeing all that gorgeous, flowing, long and beautiful hair gave me aspirations.  Something to believe in, something I was capable of.  It would be a travesty indeed if I decided to go really short again but is it not a greater tragedy to idly watch my hair dissipate until I have three strands left?  I thank Donald Trump, but the combover is not a viable option for women.  

I am a girlie girl.  Prior to the airport fiasco coming from Maui I owned a vast array of hair products, and was proud of it!  Maybe I should just get Beyonce extensions but I'm worried about the actual quality of my real hair if I take that path.  I guess either way you cut it . . .

I'm vain.